Beale Memorial Baptist Church

During the months of May and June, I typically preach a sermon series that is focused on the family.  This year is no different and we have looked at these topics thus far:  commitment, communication and sacrifice.  

Last week was Memorial Day Weekend.  Our text was the book of Ruth and in that message, we examined the sacrificial nature of Ruth's life as she cared for her mother-in-law, Naomi.  Ruth demonstrated for us what sacrificial living looks.

In the week leading up to Sunday, I sent an email asking folks to share stories of how their family blessed them through sacrificial living.  About five of these were shared with the congregation in an abbreviated format.  Today, i would like to post them.

When time allows, check out the stories of sacrifice.  Then consider what it might mean for you to live sacrificially as a husband, wife, parent, grand-parent, in-law, or friend.  How might you demonstrate to those you love their worth to you?  

Pat G shares her story.  I love the picture she paints of a father who stepped out of his comfort zone to make his daughter know his love for her.

Hi, David,

Growing up my parents didn't give my brother and me everything we wanted, but they made sure we had what we needed.  I can remember some examples of their sacrificing to get some "extras" for me . .

My Mom worked at Lawyers Title Insurance Corp. to help out with household expenses, etc. from when I was about 5 when my brother was born until I was out of business school and in my first job with Ford.  I'll never forget, they had a World Series baseball pool and my Mom played this one year and won a big $89.  Instead of spending it on herself or something for the house, she bought me a portable typewriter so I could practice at home and have an easier time in my business classes. She was so unselfish and giving!!!!

When I was in high school and it was time for my first prom, we found a beautiful dress for me within our budget.  I was so excited.  My Mom was concerned about what I was going to wear for a wrap in case it was cool that night.  A neighbor loaned me a wrap.  My Dad wasn't satisfied with that and went out on his lunch hour from work to Willow Lawn Shopping Center (the only shopping center we had then) and bought me this beautiful hand crocheted shawl.  He said he wanted me to have my own shawl to wear to my formal dance.  He had never tried to shop for me before and I treasure that shawl to this date.  It was beautiful and it was really special since my Dad bought it for me! 

My parents saw to it that we went to Sunday School and church every Sunday!  They hardly ever took time just for themselves.  They unselfishly worked hard every day and always had time for us when they were home.  I think they felt guilty that they had to work long hours sometimes, so they bent over backwards to spend quality time with us when they were home.  My parents sacrificed probably more than I know to see that my brother and I had a happy childhood.  They were very, very special and I miss them very, very much!

Pat G

 

Check out the story of Mary T.  Mary will be celebrating her 91st birthday tomorrow.  I am certain she has more stories to tell, but can you feel the emotion as she opens up the package at the end of the note?  Almost 70 years after the dance, we can still feel the love expressed.

David, As you realize, I was a child of the depression and there were six children in our family, of whom I was the oldest.  Now, the parents of that era were ones who knew sacrifice.  And yet, I don't think they even thought of it as that.  It was simply part of the job and if there was any complaint, I never heard it.

                My parents were very resourceful.  My father loved to garden and did so all his life.  (When he knew he could not make the garden next year was when he and my mother entered a nursing home, it being his own rational decision.)  So we always  ate well, though there were many meals without any meat.  I remember eating stewed tomatoes over mashed potatoes. 'Twas good.  We had hens for eggs and for meat.  There were baby chicks once a year who grew up to be fryers.  When you only have fried chicken once a year, it is really good!  There was much canning and preserving.  The only food purchased was sugar, salt, coffee and stuff we couldn't produce.

                Mary Beth asked my a few years ago what we did every day when I was little.  Every morning there was a plan and we went to work just like it might be a job.  Vegetables and sometimes fruit, were picked and then came the shelling and preparation.  My job was washing the jars and I hated it but my mother said I was best suited for it because my hands were smaller than hers and I could do it better.  If there wasn't canning then there was other work that maintained the family.

                My mother was very creative and versatile.  She could make anything from a nice dress to a chicken coop.  As you might guess, she was a good cook, but her real love was sewing or making something.  She had a cousin who lived in New York who kept her job throughout the Depression.  She bought a new wardrobe nearly every year and sent my mother her old clothes.  My mother would rip up the dresses and use the fabric just like it was brand new and you should have seen what she could make.  Oh yes, and there were the feed bags you have heard of.  We made shirts, dresses, and even underwear from them.  Also, I must mention that my mother was a "gifted" shopper.

                  My father had always encouraged us to save money and let him take it to the "big" bank and they would pay us for letting them keep it! (I later found out that it was called interest.)  So when I started off to college in September 1934, I had the handsome sum of $100.  I went to Sears and spent $50 buying a re-conditioned typewriter and the other $50 went toward tuition.  The rest of my tuition that year came from the savings of my brothers and sisters which I borrowed and paid back when I went to work.  That money rolled round and round. That was part of my father' s creativity.  The typewriter paid off handsomely because I was one of the few girls in school who had taken typing in high school and I got paid 10c per page single space or 5c per page double space for typing papers and term papers for other students.

                At the risk of this being entirely too long, I must tell one more story.  In the spring of my sophomore there was a much talked about social affair with boys coming from a "brother" school.  (Our school was a girls' college.)  One big, big item was what we would wear.  I had written my mother to see if she could borrow a dress from my aunt, which I had done at times,  I didn't hear and didn't hear which puzzled me.  In the meantime, my roommate had taken to bed in a funk, which I thought was silly, because she had nice store-boughten dresses.  So the morning of the party, I washed and ironed the best dress I had because I was not going to miss that party.  Well, in the afternoon mail that day, I got a special delivery package from my mother and in it were three new dresses.  I don't think I ever loved my mother more in all my life than I did at that moment.  I still get emotional just thinking about. it.  I still remember just how each of those dresses looked.  One of them was a more dressy dress which of course I wore to the party.  The other two were more every-day dresses all of which I wore and wore.

                Sorry this is so long, but I had to tell the whole story.      Mary T

 

Jordanna S was the youngest contributor to the story.  Jordanna just completed her master's program over the weekend and was not able to be with us on Sunday.  However, her story of Carolyn's faithfulness is too rich not to share.

Hi David,

 I probably won't be in the church to hear you preach this sermon, nor will my mom if it's this Sunday because we're going away for Memorial Day Weekend but I thought I would share.  I can ramble sometimes and just felt compelled to respond so use bits and pieces if you'd like - mention or not mention her name.  Up to you - but I love this woman soooooooo much and she is the epidemy of sacrifice. 

 My mother has sacrficed more than anyone I have ever met.  She worked three jobs, guided our family and was the rock and core to my existance.  She put reality in check for me and consistantly provided despite our family's difficult financial times.  She was the only one of her 9 siblings to educate her children beyond high school and as of tomorrow will be proud to say both her girls have their Master's.

 She encouraged us to travel - to explore other places and to learn from those who are different than us, all the while working those three jobs.  She wanted us to be passionate about our work and careers.  She wanted us to see explore God's creation while she punched the clock!  Now we try to give back to her and allow her to travel an dshe is doing great things with God's People in Latin America and beyond.  She consistantly gives to the children in the village I worked in in Vanuatu.  She loves her community and taught me how to ache for service, be that all of God's people, family or Essex County.  Her work at the Hanger and with In as Much reminds me how important it is to continue to sacrfice as a mature adult.  She's an amazing Grandmother and Aunt. 

 I have never felt one person who has sacrficed as much as she has for me.  I imagine when I look and think of my mother, that this must be what it feels like to come face to face with Christ and feel his sacrifice for me.  While my mother is not perfect, although she comes pretty darn close, I thank her for showing me what it means to give like Christ did.  She certainly has given her all!

 Jordanna S

 

For those who have attended Beale very long, you have heard the story of Leigh Ann T's arrival into this world.  Karen didn't quite make it to the hospital in time for the delivery and Trent delivered the baby somewhere on 360!  However, Karen shares another story of Trent's love.

David, I did not have to think too long or hard to give you an example. This is about my wonderful spouse, Trent.

Not only did he deliver Leigh Anne in the back of our car on the way to the hospital (which he really did not want to do), but he did something even more touching….

I was very close to my father. The Taliaferro’s that knew Bob Bruce would tell you that my sense of humor is a lot like his was. He and my Mom visited often and loved their grandchildren. I had just had Mark, who was about 3 weeks old and they were coming to visit and stay for a while, to see the kids and new baby. I got a call from my brother, he was also in Maryland helping my folks move from a house to a condo.( my Dad had decided it was time to stop cutting a large lawn. He also had a history of heart disease and past heart attack). The call was to tell me that while moving furniture, my Dad dropped dead. ( it turns out he ruptured an aneurysm. Well of course, I was undone. My Dad’s wishes were to be cremated. My brother would not go with my Mom (you have to do a second identification of the body) My Mom thought I would want to go. As close as we were, Trent did not want me to have memories of my Dad as lifeless tissue- even though I am a nurse. He knew it would probably haunt me, especially since it had been a little while since I had visited with my father. (pregnancy limitations) So, he did not wait to be asked, he volunteered to go to the funeral home with my Mom. If you know anything about Trent, that is so not his thing to do. I know he did it for me. That was truly a sacrifice on his part. ( and he never complained or described what he saw)  What can I say, I love him, and it is evident that he loves me.

Karen

 

 

Christy Hardy responded to my email request almost within minutes.  It did not take her long to think of sacrifices made on her behalf as child or as a parent.  Christy's husband is a state trooper in our area.

David…where to start? 

 

That is a wonderful question and I wasn’t truly aware of the sacrifices my parents made for myself and my sister until I was well into my 20’s.  First when we were very young my Dad worked a job where he made $100 a week, we lived in Section 8 housing and my Mom had to stay home with us.  Once my sister and I were both in elementary school full time because back then you still went to Kindergarten half days, she got a job at a production plant working the 11pm to 7am shift.  She would be up when we got home from school, cook, clean, help with homework, head back to sleep for a nap, we would go to bed, she would get up and go to work.  Dad worked 8am to 5pm, Monday thru Friday, so he was home with us at night.  This went on for years…until finally my Mom was able to get on day shift at her production plant. 

 

At this point we were able to move out of section 8 and into a much better apartment community.  To make ends meet my Dad worked 3 jobs at one time, 1 full time job and 2 part time jobs.  He was in an auto accident and out of work for 6 months, so the bills go pilled up and the settlement wasn’t enough to bring it all current so the only way to do that was to work 3 jobs.  There were times when my Dad missed out on a softball game because he had to work and yes at that time I was upset but now I know he was doing it not because he wanted to but because he had to for us…to give us, my sister and I a good childhood. 

I look back now at the arguments we had over the brand of clothing we just had to have and the shoes we had to have…and think, man did we make it easy for our parents?  They tell us now we did but sometimes I wonder…I am so thankful for the parents I had because they made our childhood full of more great memories then bad.

 

For my husband…he makes the ultimate sacrifice each day he is at work for the Community we live in…he gets little to any thanks for the job he does.  On top of that full time job he also works a part time job.  So he will get off work at 1am and report for his part time job by 7:30 am the next day.  On his days off from his full time job he will put in 8 or more hours at his part time job…This is just to make ends meet as my full time job is an hour from home and it’s impossible for me to get that part time job where the money is so needed.  He misses time with our daughter not because he wants too but because he has too for the better of our family.  On the days we are able to hang out as a family he gives us his undivided attention and spoils us both.  There is no doubt that my husband loves me and for that I thank him because its not easy for some men to show their emotions but not my husband, he makes sure I know he loves me unconditionally.  I try to show my husband how much he amazes me and how much I LOVE him as often as I can and I pray that he knows deep down in his heart that the sacrifices he makes don’t go un-noticed.  I hope one day our daughter looks back and knows that her parents made sacrifices for her out of LOVE, we may not be able to give her the best clothes or the shiniest new car when she turns 16 but that we LOVE her and would do anything and I mean anything for her. 

 

Thanks for the tears of joy knowing that I was LOVED by wonderful parents and LOVED by a wonderful husband. 

Christy

 

 

And finally, we have Matt E writing about his wife Mary.  Matt and Mary joined our church last year.  As you will read they have moved A LOT in their marriage.  

David,

I appreciate the opportunity you provide here to tell the story of my Wife, Mary.

 

It is not hard for me to tell of the sacrifices she has made over the years, not only to me but in the service of our Country.

 

As you know, I am a retired (20 year) USN Chief Petty Officer.  Mary and I were married on July 20^th of 1981.  This was two months after my High School graduation and exactly 7 days before I shipped off to Navy Basic Training.  After my graduation from boot camp she packed her 1969 Dodge Dart with all her clothes and a few family memories and drove to meet me in Chicago.  We drove together and established our very first home in a 3 room apartment in Millington TN….we were very much alone and on our own.  She trusted me explicitly.  6 months later we moved again to Jacksonville FL.  We were very much alone and on our own, but not for long.  It was in Jacksonville that we got SAVED!  We made some friends and had a whole new family but, military life was difficult at best.  She stuck with me though because she loved me and WANTED ME to succeed. Shortly after our son, Nathan was born, Mary’s Mother, Joyce, died.  Mary was 23.  She no longer had a mom to call and ask for advice, or seek assistance with the many challenges that young moms and wives face.  She could have done what a lot of military wives do and choose to live with her mom (prior to her death) while I completed my first enlistment.  She chose to stay with me.  Her dad died shortly after that.  He was nothing of a father.  Perhaps it was her environment growing up that built so much character into her.  She followed me to VA in 85 where Tara was born, then to MS in 86 my first ship, back to FL in 87 where Kristen was born, then Japan in 90 where Hannah was born (she was told and almost commanded to stay Stateside by our Pastor’s wife).  It might have been better for her to stay in the States where she had established friends and had God’s family to care for her, but she wanted to be with me.  Turns out I really did need her…..

 

I will take the time now to tell a little side story that followed her decision to follow me:  I left for Japan in June of 90 (on the ship).  Between the time of my departure and the time of her arrival in Japan, she had two abscessed molars, the hives, and severe bronchitis.  She had to pack up our house hold, hop a plane, travel for 36 hours only to find upon arrival IN JAPAN that she had no luggage, no place to live and a lame husband who lay on his back following emergency ankle surgery who could not even meet her at the airport (she did not even know he was in the hospital).  On the bus ride from Yokoda to Yokosuka she got pucked on.  When she finally arrived at the base she had to check into and live in a one bed hotel room for 8 weeks with 3 small children with no clothes.  After shopping the next day she had to get her Japanese driving license and learn how to drive on the opposite side of the rode.  She had to drive me around while we looked for a house out in the nearby town.  When my health was restored I had to go to the Arabian Gulf and we said our good-byes on Christmas eve.  Two weeks later the Navy cut off all unofficial communications and a week after that we were at war.  She had heard through the rumor mil that my ship may have seen some action.  She did not know at the time that we did actually see a lot of action (that is a different story).  She could not go to the navy base for support, because the Japanese were violently attacking (with rockets and bombs) both the base entrance and Navy housing.  Fortunately for her, she lived completely on the Japanese economy totally isolated from the violence.  When she thought that she could find comfort and long distant support from her In-Laws she was accused of with holding information about my wellbeing.  The reality of the situation was that when the war started all communication with me was CUT OFF!  The only news she could get about the war was obtained from watching CNN as she sat in the lobby of the Yokosuka Naval Hospital on the base (which she could only get to when the rioting calmed during off peak protest times.  She was so happy when I came home.

 

Well after Japan we moved back to VA in 91, then to MA in 95, then to FL in 96, then to WI in 98.  She thought she could finally settle down…..

 

I can try my hardest to make Mary feel the same affirmation that I feel all the time but it is not the same.

 

Every step along this path Mary has had very few complaints and the few that she did share were legitimate.  You see, Mary has always put others before her own interests and we are richer for that.  

 

What is really sad is that while I was getting all the recognition and decorations on my uniform, Mary was there behind the curtains inspiring me, encouraging me, tolerating the hardships, enduring the disappointments, and bearing the separation.  She found her joy in serving others and in her children and in my success.  She has every claim and right to share in my successes and has had so little recognition and acknowledgement.  She has never sought this and would be very embarrassed if she knew what I was sharing.  Her reward will be very large in heaven but I think it is nice to be acknowledged a little bit here on earth too.  She does this because she Loves God and people.  While others depended on her, she truly could only depend and wait upon the Lord because I was not there very much.  She has become a “legend” in just about every church family we have been involved with.  She exemplifies the meaning of give until it hurts.  She is very much a deaconess.  You ask her and she will tell you that she is not strong.  She is a living example of strength, devotion, integrity and sacrifice but, she is fragile and I wish that I would learn to treat her like a china tea cup.    

 

Frankly, I have received all of the accolades I could receive from my service to my country.  When I retired, Mary received a placard that salutes the Navy Wife.  I think she deserves the Bronze Star for bravery.  

 

If you want to know more just ask.  There is much more where this came from.